In my ten years of nursing, I have been fortunate to walk with many patients and families during some of their happiest and hardest times. All of these experiences have molded me into the nurse I am today. There are, of course, patients and circumstances that stand out, but there is one exceptional little girl and her courageous mother who changed everything. This story shaped my nursing practice and positively impacted my entire life. It is the story of a mom who demonstrated remarkable bravery and a young lady who faced absolute tragedy with incredible strength.
Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a small grin and a reciprocated “good morning” by a little girl with a head full of matted crimson hair and dried blood all over her. I would later find out she had beautiful blonde hair and fair skin.
I received a report on a pediatric patient who had been admitted in the early morning hours following a motor vehicle collision. She and her mother were traveling back home following a weekend getaway. She had no injuries or lines for me to manage. She came out of the accident-free of any physical injury. Tragically, her mother suffered an impaling injury on impact that severed a distal artery, causing her to bleed out within minutes of the collision with her precious daughter in the back seat. Seeing as they were so far from home and my patient had lost her mother in the accident, she was admitted to the pediatric unit for custody care until her family could make arrangements to bring her home.
Unfortunately, she had spent most of her admission in her room alone due to a lack of hospital resources, staffing, and family traveling. Considering this, I finished my report and made my way down to her room to check on her as fast as I could. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a small grin and a reciprocated “good morning” by a little girl with a head full of matted crimson hair and dried blood all over her. I would later find out she had beautiful blonde hair and fair skin.
I immediately readied our tub room to bathe her in absolute fear of her or her family seeing her covered in her mother’s blood. I gave my best attempt at making small talk and keeping her distracted while we cleaned her up. I struggled to find questions that would not relate to her mom in some way for fear that the topic would upset my patient. I did not know at this time what she understood from the accident and her mother’s passing.
After going through an entire bottle of shampoo in an attempt to work the blood out of her hair, I briefly left the tub room to get more shampoo, and when I returned, I found my patient sitting, head bowed, hands clasped together, praying. I quietly closed the door, sat next to the tub with her, and joined her in prayer, closing my eyes and bowing my head. I quickly found myself with eyes watering over as she thanked God for her mom and that she was able to say goodbye to her before she died. She thanked God for the time she had with her mom and promised that she would be okay even though she missed her so much already. When she finished praying, we spent the remainder of the bath discussing what she loved the most about her mom and her mother's final moments with her. My patient's mother knew she had suffered fatal injuries but did not panic. Instead, this courageous mom spent her last moments with her daughter tenderly explaining that she was going to pass away. She told her daughter she would be okay without her and how much she loved and cherished her little girl.
It is not natural instinct to bring an immensely tragic event to the forefront of a conversation. There are many reasons why we shy away from these interactions, whether it be a fear of handling the conversation poorly, saying the wrong thing, or a general concern of exacerbating the trauma. I cannot imagine how incredibly difficult it was for this mother to have such a hard discussion with her daughter before she passed, but it was the bravest and most therapeutic thing for her daughter. Her daughter then demonstrated the same strength by sharing her story with me. I had always felt that a child's life or a mental health provider could handle these conversations better than I could. This young lady and her mother changed my mindset and shaped how I interact with others meaningfully.
As nurses, we constantly walk with our patients as they experience the hardest seasons. Being a support person in those moments is such a profound blessing. This experience taught me to be what my patients need me to be instead of assuming what they need me to be. On this day, I worked so hard to avoid the trauma this sweet little girl had been through, but what she really needed was someone to talk to and share her story with.
My patient's mother knew she had suffered fatal injuries but did not panic. Instead, this courageous mom spent her last moments with her daughter tenderly explaining that she was going to pass away. She told her daughter she would be okay without her and how much she loved and cherished her little girl.
Occasionally, silence or distraction are exactly what our patients need. Other times, they need to talk, ask questions, and cry! I can now walk into my patient’s rooms on those hard days and properly assess what they need from me after a loss or an awful diagnosis. This has been crucial in giving my most compassionate care no matter how hard that conversation might be. Although my time with this patient was brief, she and her mother profoundly impacted my life. I appreciate and am proud of the exceptional little girl and her courageous mother who shaped my nursing practice.